Meditation for living a better life

I have written about mindful meditation before (and the associated benefits), but not about the other forms of meditation that I also frequently do. There are so many styles out there originating from different philosophies that there is no shortage in finding a style that will suit you. Below are several types of meditation I prefer for various reasons and which one I choose on a day depends on my mood, the amount of time or freedom from distraction I have, or whether I need to relax and rebalance, or if I’m wanting to seek information or solve a problem.

Mindfulness meditation - can be used in daily life anywhere and anytime and creates calm and focus

Guided meditation - can be useful for full relaxation and creating peace within

Chakra meditation - can be useful for clearing energy blockages and relaxation and healing

Third eye meditation - a deeper spiritual practice that connects to source energy beyond this physical world. Can be useful for seeking information or gaining insight. 

Mindful meditation – in this form the aim is to bring my attention to focus on the Now without being distracted and really is the centre of all meditation types. I often do this in the form of awake awareness where I can do it as I go about my everyday life…sitting on the train, while having a massage, sitting in a café, walking in nature, doing household chores or just to take a mental pause from what I am doing and detaching from any thinking.  This style is great to create space from thoughts and worries and to take a break from ‘myself’ and my chattering mind, brings on relaxation, helps release tight muscles, creates focus and grounds me (as in it brings me into the present) and creates a state of calm. The idea is to tune in to the present moment, let go of thoughts, stay aware, and allow yourself to observe and experience what’s going on around you without reaction or judgement.

Guided meditation (which is also known as guided imagery or visualization) – in this form a teacher or guide leads the meditation and allows you to focus on their words and to be guided with the result being relaxation and healing (you can either attend a class or find an online version). They will often start with focused breathing, relaxing all muscles from your toes to your head, until your body is in a relaxed rested state. Then, depending on the nature of the meditation, the guide may then talk in positive phrases for you to focus on, or they may assist you to visualize a pleasant scenario such as walking in a meadow, or alongside a stream or into a safe sanctuary inside a cave where you can associate this image with positive words and feelings and feel rested and at peace when you are finished. I like to use this style of meditation if I’m having trouble shutting down what else is going on around me – it assists with the focusing and is really only used for relaxation.

Chakra meditation – this style of meditation focuses on balancing and clearing the seven energy centres within the body known as chakras. I usually find a guided chakra meditation online which helps me move through each chakra for this type of meditation. Chakra meditation can be great when things in life are feeling a bit out of kilter and that they are not running as smoothly as they could be or you are experiencing difficulties in certain areas (each chakra is associated with different energy such as health, expressing yourself, giving or receiving love, various health problems, creativity etc). As with the other styles of meditation, this creates a sense of calm and relaxation.

Third eye meditation – in this form, it is a spiritual meditation that is founded on connecting to source energy and consciousness and is a way to gain perspective that is beyond our ordinary senses. This style of meditation creates a gateway into this inner world. I can often just be sitting in a chair or lying down, close my eyes and allow my inner focus to relax and drift to the third eye region inside my skull between my eyes and visualise a circle of light or colour. I form a relaxed ‘lazy’ focus on this image and slow my breathing. Depending on my level of relaxation when I begin, I can connect very quickly within a minute or two by allowing myself to ‘go into’ or become one with the light (which for me also shows up in my third eye as many colours that swirl and blend and change as my emotions/energy changes) and this is where I feel extremely relaxed and the sensation of my physical body disappears and my mind and senses expand and merge into a sense of everything, but nothing, all at the same time and time itself falls away and just becomes a ‘gap’ and brings a sensation of emptiness. This is where I know I have left my physical world behind and I exist as the energy and am connected to all other energy and consciousness in the fifth dimension. Once here I can either just enjoy the space and energy I am experiencing and allow images or thoughts to appear or I can then ask questions to seek new information or for insight to come forward (which sometimes is instant and at other times it 'pops' into my awareness after the meditation is over). I find it impossible to do this type of meditation when I am stressed or have busy thoughts so I may need to do sessions of mindfulness or a chakra clearing in the days before to get myself prepared for this inner work.

Bringing some mediation into your  daily life can be a very powerful and useful tool in your personal development and enhancing your sense of wellbeing. How can you bring a little purposeful meditation into your every day?

Peace begins when expectation ends...

This quote from Sri Chinmoy so simply sums up a lot for me. All interactions I have on a daily basis, all activities I engage in, and really, anything at all that I do can either be accepted as they are and allow me to live a life of peace or can be the cause of suffering because they don’t meet my expectations.

Expectations. Most of us have them. We have expectations on other people (wanting them to respond in a certain way or give us a hug or do something for us). We have expectations on how a certain event might go and when it doesn’t it can ruin it for us (we wanted the day to be fine and sunny and instead it’s windy and a bit rainy or maybe the train ride to work took longer as the train broke down). Or it could be bigger things like a trip we’ve planned out and really looked forward to isn’t what we thought it would be (the airplane got diverted through a different country, or our luggage got delayed and arrived two days late, or the hotel wasn’t quite what we had in mind or there were too many other tourists at everything we wanted to do).

The emotions that are triggered through all these seemingly “bad” experiences all stem from the expectations that we had. How would it be if we didn’t have expectations on how those moments would turn out? What if we just accepted that sometimes public transport breaks down and see an opportunity to read the kindle for longer on the trip, or accepting that the sunny lunchtime walk with a friend instead could turn into lunch in a café, or that overseas trip…how about just accept all those ‘annoyances’ as all part of the adventure and take each moment as it comes and approach the trip with openness and acceptance. How much more joy and wonder you would experience without preconceived ideas and expectations on what it might be like? The outcome is the same whether or not we get annoyed at the inconveniences, because we can’t control what happens, but we can choose to approach each experience without expectation and therefore suffer no disappointment or anger or frustration.

How many arguments start because someone had an opinion they were attached to and we expected a different outcome? Or the sadness that is felt when you break up with someone or a friendship is lost because of attachment to the expectation that things would always stay the same?

Placing expectations on people is going to lead to problems and suffering! People are not predictable and are constantly changing. Being attached to the idea of how a person should behave or act or remaining attached to what you once had, or what you dream of the relationship being all leads to suffering.

Years ago, I became aware of the downfall of placing expectations on others and the consequent pain and suffering that can occur when a friend said to me that I was upset because I wasn’t getting the response I wanted and was expecting something else. While it wasn’t nice to hear, it quickly dawned on me that yes, he was right! It was my attachment to expecting a certain response or outcome and not getting it that caused my suffering – not him or the response that he gave me.

These days, while I am not free of putting expectations on others, I am certainly aware of the emotions such as disappointment or anger or sadness that kick in when I am unconsciously doing it and they serve as a really good reminder to remove my expectation of wanting a different outcome or response! I know that these feelings can stop with me as I have no control over what someone else says or does or doesn’t do. To end the need to control and therefore taking an approach of non-attachment allows me freedom, it allows the other person their freedom, and it leads to a stronger, healthier, unconditional relationship that is full of trust and care.

It should be noted though, that non-attachment is not the same as non-engagement – it’s not about being indifferent or apathetic to another person or when engaging in an activity (and these are behaviours that I can sometimes fall into, so it takes awareness to bring myself back into the present moment). In fact, through non-attachment you can be fully present and engaged and exist in the moment. 

How I practice non-attachment and let go of expectations…

·        Don’t get attached to an expectation or image. This doesn’t mean we can’t still dream big, practice creative visualization to attract what we want in life, or meditate on how we might like to live life better - just don’t get attached where it becomes unhealthy or an obsession.

·        I take a walk in nature or get my fingers in the earth of my herb garden. By bringing my physical senses into the now (and sometimes I go through a little mantra of “what can I see”, “what can I hear”, “what can I feel”, “what can I touch”) this allows me to focus on me and my energy and brings me out of my head. When I am feeling stronger within myself, then I am less likely to place expectations on others.

·        I find a guided meditation to help me let go or to release any energy blocks. I like ones that are about 30 minutes long so I get to a really good relaxed place and then can allow my mind to switch off to the chatter and cleanse my mind to where I feel I can start afresh.

·        I become aware of emotional reactions when I have interactions with others…partner, friends, colleagues, or strangers or when going about my day. If you find yourself judging or criticizing or feeling jealous or irritated or any other strong reaction…first acknowledge it and thank it for reminding you of the attachment you have (I tend to smile to myself because I have caught myself out), then I do a little deeper investigation on why I might have been triggered in this way and remind myself I can’t control anyone and to allow them their freedom. If the answer comes I acknowledge it and this is usually enough to change the way I react in future. If nothing comes, I move on. There will be plenty more reminders ;)

Peace begins when expectations end.