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| A photo from our trip up to Auckland last year. |
I've read many a parenting book over the years and do believe that they have helped shape the way I am with my children today. I'm not a naturally calm type of parent, so it took a bit of work for me (starting about 6yrs ago) to overcome this and find the right balance for me and the kids, as well as a family. Two books that I've read and have been inspired by are, Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn (in fact, this book was what had me considering homeschooling even though it's not a homeschooling book and doesn't even mention it), and Raising our children, raising ourselves by Naomi Aldort. While I don't think I "fully" parent as these books suggest, I know that their extreme nature (to me it was extreme when I first chanced upon them, but also, it felt 'right') has really helped me find that balance I was striving for.
A friend lent me a book yesterday that nicely sums up, through little words of wisdom, what I aspire to.
The book is The Parents Tao Te Ching: Ancient Advice for Modern Parents by William Martin.
And this one here kind of seems relevant with the changes we've experienced as I just allow life to flow.
River of Change
The child you see today
will not be here tomorrow
The child arriving home from school.
is different from the one
who left from home this morning.
Every moment is a death
of all that has gone before,
and a birth
of all that is to come.
You must jump into the river
and let it carry you on its journey.
If you try to stop it
you will drown.
And while I think that could be read in a negative frame of mind (if I was struggling with the kids being at school and all the changes occuring), I'm seeing the positives from the change our lives have had. I see our school life as just an extension of our unschooled life - and really, this is just another part of it. It was a scary moment "allowing" Danielle to follow her own curiosity to go to school (and it truly was from one moment to the next - amazing how life can tip upside down like that), but I can see how letting life flow has benefited us all ... and that's not to say that tomorrow won't bring its own surprises.
4 comments:
Lovely picture and a lovely post Nikki.
Thanks Sandra!
While it would perhaps be nice if my reactions were automatically changed forever after these books :), I do so appreciate that I've become much more mindful of what "best" is. You know? I can figure things out so much more easily for myself that I perhaps could had I not read Alfie and Naomi and Jon Kabat-Zinn.
Now if I could just do it right all the time... :)
Ha, yes, there certainly was no automatic change, was quite a long slow process for me (and ongoing really). But I was dedicated to stick with it and strive for what felt right. But like you, it's paid off and does come much easier these days on how to figure out the best course of action at the time (and not beat myself up about the times I don't get it as I had hoped for).
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